I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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