Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
