ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
