May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
