Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
