I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My hand turned me down
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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