winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
