i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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