the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
People in love make me want to vomit
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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