she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
