Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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