he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize