Whod you bang
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
