It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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