Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
