In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
