Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
