you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
