I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
