You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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