Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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