i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
