guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
