My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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