We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
