Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
