I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
