I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize