he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
