Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
