we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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