She even gives head with a lisp.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
