you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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