Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
