I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
