It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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