very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
