I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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