I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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