you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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