It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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