Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
