just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
