All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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