would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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