Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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