he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize