the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
