I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
