Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
