I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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