Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
