DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
