id be glad to
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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