I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
