We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
