I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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